Betty Draper Comes to Town
My friend Betty Draper was in town for work. She was the first house guest besides my Mom so I was a little nervous. We bought a fixer and have a TON of work to do. The most embarrassing is that our bathroom door doesn't shut all the way. We have a door coming but it is consider special order so we are waiting for delivery. The other embarrassing thing is that we have a weird smell in our bedroom. We've had 3 contractors come in to pinpoint it but it doesn't smell all the time so they couldn't detect anything. We didn't smell it when we first moved in but now we smell it because we keep the bedroom door closed for long periods of time because of the dog. As I give a tour Betty asks, "Do you guys smoke weed?" and I was appalled because we DON'T. But that's what we think it is now! We didn't consider that the previous owners probably smoked weed. We thought back to all the open houses we went to and remembered the smell and they all had old carpet. So even though we have new carpet we now have to replace. For now my air purifier is going to have to do until after tax season.
Betty Draper has always been the fitness and beauty guru of the bunch. She tried to get me to lose weight before but I was in a really dark place and didn't want to listen. Unfortunately I didn't want to make changes until a doctor told me I had to. I like having friends in great shape, have decent jobs, and move on to the next level because they are good check points for me even if I'm not there with them. I used to hate comparing but instead of comparing I started to feel that I am the company I keep and I missed my LA company.
We talked about what I needed to do physically to get back on track but also about next steps in my career and the ultimate conversation..."So are you going to have kids?" I hear this question almost weekly at this point in my life, multiply by 5 when visiting LA friends and family. I responded saying I know I don't have a lot of time but I still don't know. Plus, I have a lot of financial commitments. But I know if I had one I would love him or her, work hard to provide, and he or she would be the center of my universe. Also if I do want a child, I need to get healthy for myself but also the child. But one thing my husband talk about is whether we want to bring a black child into this world that hates us. I honestly don't know. I will be paranoid all the time. Whether they are hanging with the right crowd, making sure they are safe, making sure they just don't get caught up in the negativity that surrounds us. Not sure if we are both ready for that. But Betty reminds me how hard pregnancy at our age which everyone does to me when I see them now. But it sounds different coming from her. It sounds sincere and practical. So we are still thinking about it but I wish the world was more sincere in coexisting and life was affordability. Those are the major obstacles for me in terms of expanding my family.
So even though Betty and I had uncomfortable conversations and my room stinks right now, I felt better seeing her because it was a reminder of what I need to do and really figure out where I'm headed.