Too Much Sugar in the Blood

I always knew I was living on the edge. I was in my late twenties when my dad was diagnosed with diabetes I was warned. I ate better for a little while but I thought I'm still young I still have time. I know, so stupid. 

I lost a little weight for my wedding. Just enough to get into my dress. My bridesmaids, Liz Lemon and Betty Draper, struggled to get me in because towards the end I was so stress I gave up on my diet but they got me in there! 

After the wedding I told myself this is a wakeup call but the wedding is over so whatever. I gained 10lbs. But my dad and I made a bet so we can get back on track. He told about how his body felt with diabetes, "You know when you just don't feel good." He lost 30lbs but it was too late. Well I started to not only feel good but not look good. Kind of like this...

Image Source: This Day In Music

Image Source: This Day In Music

I felt like a zombie. Constant cravings for bad things, skin itchy. dark circles around my eyes, my acne flared up and my scars did not fade as fast, headaches, thirst, tingling in my feet and hands. All the warning signs were there I just ignored them. 

So when I got this message from my doctor..

I already knew. Fortunately I am still pre-diabetic but I'm on the edge. I was self-sabotaging because some days I didn't want to be around. I was depressed about my dad, student loans, unfulfilled dreams, I didn't even know what I wanted in life anymore. But I don't want to be diabetic so this is my shot as Hamilton would say. My last one, I can't throw it away. Instead of crying in a ball, well I did cry actually, but instead of retreating I emailed all my girlfriends and told them. I already had the goals of working and networking and I took it one step further and asked them to invite me to their workouts. I was nervous about putting myself out there but to my delight many of them responded with messages of love and support. So I look forward to reconnecting in the new year, to get healthy, and yes to get in my jeans again.